A Little Male Bashing!
Men are like a pack of cards:
you need a Heart to love them;
a Diamond to marry them
a Club to batter them; and
a Spade to bury the bastards.
Men are like Roses-watch out for the pricks!
What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
you and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!?"
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male:
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
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Humor in the Restroom - The Wisdom you can find on the Walls
1. Friends don't let their friends take home a ugly men. from n a Women's restroom in Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE.
2. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" in a -from a Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.
3. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. in from a Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
4. Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! From a a -Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana
5. A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. from a -Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas
6. No wonder you always go home alone. From a Sign over mirror in Men's restroom at Beverly Hills, CA
7. Beauty is only a light switch away in a restroom in the -Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
8. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. from the -The Irish Times, Washington, DC
9. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.
10. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. From Revolution Books, New York, New York
11, Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. from a -Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
12. Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light. --The Janitor
13. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands. in a -Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY
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